The Life of This Blonde
kel & i
ashley squared and i
can't stop laughing
brian & davey
bailey & i ON the pool
STUPID boys decided to "SLED" on pool
My birthday party in Tulsa!
jamie & i waiting for gaga!
How I spent my ACTUAL 24th Birthday.
At the Fox Theater in St. Louis with Lady GaGa.
Best. Birthday. Ever.
(via dirtylittlestylewhore)
glad i got that super emo post out of my system. i just never talk about stuff/let people know how i am feeling and try to deal with everything and take one everything that i’m given and sometimes it gets tough and i just have one big meltdown.
things are okay now though.. well as okay as they can get.
hoping things with this super nice boy that i like will work out. we had something this spring and then moved our seperate ways and all that jazz. but i finally had the balls to risk it and tell him i do in fact like him today. i had been so afraid of letting myself get hurt for the last couple years that i kept everyone at a distance… including him when he made it very clear to me last spring how he felt. so i finally just decided “eff it” and threw myself out there.
who knows where the wind will take us. i’m hoping somewhere good :)
i’m not particularly good with this kind of stuff so bare with me as i stumble getting this out.
i’m a very very happy outgoing, friendly person. always have been, always will be. even when things get me very down. i put on my smile, i laugh away the tears and i get on with my life.
finally, things have caught up with me. i think getting effed over by two guys that i was seeing, having knee surgery, dealing with my sick mom and just feeling alone finally caught up with me. maybe it’s just the massive amount of painkillers that i’ve been on since friday, but i don’t think i have been as emotional and as big a wreck as i’ve been in the last 5 days since taj and i broke up over a year and a half ago. i thought my world had come crashing down then.. which, really.. it had.. and it seems to be doing the same again.
i picked myself back up and started over. i reunited with old friends who gladly accepted me back into my prior role in their lives.. the crazy, fun outgoing friend who was always ready and down for everything. i masked that pain with alcohol. i’m more than willing to admit it. but i had fun. i went out almost every single night of my last year of college at ku. i stayed up until 8am drinking with friends when i had class at 10am. i lived my college experience to the fullest. and i partied away my fears and my tears by never having a waking moment to dwell on the things in my life that bother me.
and trust me, there’s a whole hell of a lot that bothers me. about my life, about my family, and more importantly about myself. from the inside, out. if you were to ask me what was the best thing about myself.. my answer would more than likely be my hair. when i look at myself, that’s about the only thing i see that’s of any value. which is sad. i’m almost 24 years old, i should value myself. but i don’t. i value everyone and everything around me and i put them before myself.
i let things build and build. i go out of my way to be friends with people. friends with people who don’t even give me the courtesy of being my friend back. i concentrate on others and my friendships with these people and not making myself better.
this probably makes no sense whatsoever to whoever may stumble across it but at least i got it out there. my life is crumbling.. no.. crashing.. down around me. i can’t be the support that everyone wants to me to be anymore. i can’t be the strong one. it’s too much. i can barely support myself anymore let alone be the one for my sick mom, my sad friends. and the thing is, when i need those friends, they’re not there for me. i’m on my own. to deal with, or not deal with as it is, my own problems without any support.
and sometimes, you just need someone there to support you. i’m still looking for that person. and hopefully, one day, i’ll find them. before the walls of my life come crashing down completely to where i can’t fix them myself.
” Dance In the Dark” also just came out today. Not a video but the audio. Pretty amazing as well, if you ask me.
Lady GaGa’s Bad Romance video debuted today. I think it’s effing spectacular. Your thoughts?
Halloween weekend was a shit show, to say the least. Went out Friday-Monday night. Dear lord. Friday was the TU party, Saturday went to the OSU/Texas game in Stillwater, Sunday was Sunday Funday at downtown lounge and Monday was Rebecca’s birthday. We went to In the Raw for her birthday and then came back to my place to hang out in the hot tub. stellar weekend.
This past Thursday I flew to Chicago but got hip-checked by a dude on the plane and effed my knee. Ended up coming home early on Saturday (instead of staying until Monday) but all in all it was a wonderful trip and got to see Paul, Joe, Meredith, Scott and Pete.
Dave and I had Scary Movie Sunday as we watched Drag Me to Hell and Paranomal Activity.
TU football game mad me sad. Almost defeated Houston, but then not so much.
That’s really it for now… I’ll start making an attempt to update more often again but I can’t make any promises.
Post Hot-tub on Rebecca's bday
Sunday Funday at Downtown Lounge followed by a girls night birthday celebration for Rebecca’s 24th that Monday!
Rebecca & I in the suite @ the game.
my cute momma & daddy in the suite
our view. HOOK EM!
In Stillwater at the OSU/TEXAS game. Hook ‘Em Horns!
Halloween Party = Total Shit Show.
It’s been a while. Been very very very VERY busy.
Oktoberfest has come and gone, as has most of the month of October.
Tomorrow I go to the Univ. of Tulsa Law Halloween Party. Should be pretty kickass. I’m being Lady GaGa. I’ll post pictures after.
Saturday I’m heading to the Texas/OK State game in Stillwater. Dad got tickets for the ONEOK suite. Should be pretty baller.
A week from today (I guess now it’s yesterday) I’ll be in Chicago visiting my favorite boy from high school, Paul! Super super stoked. We’re in definite need of a reunion and an EPIC weekend.
Thanksgiving is in Tulsa this year as well. All the family is coming to town. Minus Uncle Neddy I think. He’ll probably stay up in Brooklyn.
I promise to start blogging more.
KXVO 15 presents: A Very Mummenschanzy Halloween.
[via.]
Zac Hanson closing out their Tulsa show with “Don’t Stop Believin’”
Honestly, the last few days have been AMAZING. Sure, I’m exhausted and running on little to no sleep but I have had the privilege of getting to see some of my favorite bands of all time perform the last couple nights.
Wednesday was the first date of Hanson’s Use Your Sole tour. My favorite fellow Hanson fan was on her honeymoon in Cabo so I flew solo to this show. It was kind of cool to go to a show on my own.. had never done that before and really, once the music starts, I’m so into the show that it doesn’t really matter if I’m there with people or alone.
But earlier in the day… Hanson hosted one of their walks. For those that are unaware of what “taking the walk” entails, it’s a 1 mile walk open to anyone and everyone. For every person that participates, Hanson donates $1 towards fighting poverty and HIV/AIDS in Africa. Everyone who participates fills out a card with their information and which of the five causes they would like their dollar to go towards (providing shoes, medication, clean water, etc). It’s a very cool and worthwhile cause. (Find out more information or find a walk near you by visiting www.takethewalk.net)
Back to the Tulsa walk… I had the privilege of participating in the walk.. And actually ended up walking with Zac Hanson, my childhood crush. And you know what? The dude is pretty effing cool. Totally down to earth, every day kind of guy. Loved him. Talked about work, Tulsa, life, their cause, a battle of the bands I hosted for AIDS prevention/awareness/education when I was in high school in St. Louis, and so on and so on. I ended up carrying on a conversation with him for about half of the walk and honest to God, it really fulfilled my childhood dream of meeting Hanson as lame as that sounds. I’ve met them quite a few times — backstage at shows, etc — but never had the real opportunity to talk to them for an extended period of time. They’re some pretty cool guys who really WANT to help those less fortunate. Too bad they’re all married now.
Here’s a few photos from The Walk:
As for the concert.. absolutely amazing. Hellogoodbye opened and they were great.. And then Hanson came on.. They played a lot of old stuff (Yes, they played MMMBop, haha) and all in all it was excellent. They actually closed their encore with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’ with Zac singing. I’ll post a video but really, that boy can sing. They all can.
Photos from the show at Cain’s Ballroom:
Thursday Night I went to Citizen Cope with Meredith at Cain’s Ballroom. Cope is absolutely amazing. Love him. Love all his songs. He was so freaking out of it though but at least acknowledged how great the crowd was and where he was (vs. DMB). Here’s a couple pictures of the sexy man Citizen Cope aka Clarence Greenwood.
Apparently Cope was at Arnie’s on Wednesday night.. Meredith saw him.. I was at Hanson otherwise I totally would have been there. Boo.
Friday Night Meredith and I went to Willie Nelson & Dave Matthews Band.. Incredible as always. Dave and Willie doing “Gravedigger” together — even more incredible. Sadly there were no cameras allowed at the BOK Center at all per their request so the only photos I got were on my iPhone and not so hot. The thing that always has bugged me about Dave is the only interaction he really ever has with the crowd is to say “Thank you” — he never acknowledges what city he’s in, etc.
Debated driving to OKC for the Kings of Leon show tonight for a little. Then I realized that I’m already exhausted and I don’t need to make it even worse.
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